Fall in love with everything you own in this wacky adventure

Imagine a world where your toaster flirts, your fridge confesses its chilly feelings, and even your smoke alarm has a fiery personality. Date Everything! is a sandbox dating simulator that transforms the mundane into the magical, letting players romance an astonishing 100 household objects, each with a fully voice-acted, anthropomorphic persona. This game's premise is as delightfully unhinged as it sounds, offering a fresh twist on the dating sim genre with its blend of humor, heart, and surreal creativity.

Date your furniture

The game's standout feature is its expansive cast of dateable characters, ranging from a suave vacuum cleaner to the abstract yet relatable Overwhelming Sense of Existential Dread. Each character boasts unique dialogue, branching narratives, and at least three distinct endings, romance, friendship, or rivalry, ensuring no two playthroughs feel the same. The writing sparkles with puns and witty banter, making every interaction a comedic gem. For instance, romancing Dorian the Door (with 17 distinct variants) involves navigating his multifaceted personality, shaped by his location in the house, adding layers of depth to the absurdity.

Another highlight is the gifting mechanic, which lets players discover characters' preferences, like offering a cozy blanket to a shivering lamp, to deepen relationships. This system, balanced to prevent spamming, encourages thoughtful engagement, much like in Stardew Valley, where players charm NPCs with tailored gifts. The fully voice-acted dialogue, performed by a stellar cast, elevates the experience, infusing each object with vibrant personality, from the beatboxing toilet to the melodramatic curtains.

Mini-games and dynamic conversation choices further enhance replayability, as players must strategize to avoid disastrous dates. The game's cartoonish visuals, blending 3D environments with 2D portraits, create a charmingly quirky aesthetic that complements its offbeat tone.

For fans of unconventional romance, Hatoful Boyfriend, a dating sim featuring pigeons, shares a similar penchant for absurd yet heartfelt storytelling. Date Everything! pushes the boundaries further, proving that love, or at least a good laugh, can be found in the most unexpected corners of your home. Find the best prices for Date Everything! using our price comparison tool.